Spending the holidays alone, together

While the holidays can feel like a jolly time to celebrate with loved ones, many face this time of year feeling isolated and alone. Solitary time can be good for people, but spending time with others is important for overall well-being. A Baylor College of Medicine psychiatrist offers tips for those experiencing solitude this holiday season. 

“Sometimes recognizing that you’re not the only one suffering can be reassuring,” said Dr. Asim Shah, professor and executive vice chair in the Menninger Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Baylor. 

He emphasizes that acknowledging you are alone is a good first step to help you look at things positively. If you know you will be alone for the holidays, create things you enjoy, make plans to do things you love and try to share the holiday with a neighbor, friend, fellow church member, etc. Avoid loneliness by taking initiative and planning ahead: attend local holiday events or host a party or small gathering with a few neighbors or friends. 

“Two lonely people together is better than one lonely person. Find your comfort zone with people that make you feel comfortable and spend time with them,” he said. 

The purpose of holidays is not only to celebrate with people, but to give. Those feeling isolated this time of year should give back to the community by volunteering at a foodbank, community center, place of worship or other local organizations. Volunteer work brings a sense of giving and allows people to connect with one another. 

“You can give gifts, money or toys to the less fortunate, and you can give company to those who don’t have it,” Shah said. “Do a good deed. If everyone’s deed is having a neighbor over for their holiday feast, then no one would be alone.” 

Alone time has benefits but should be restricted. It allows you to reflect, but too much seclusion can be difficult for some. Spending quality time with others provides connection and hinders you from thinking negative thoughts. Sharing company – even if it is just a meal with someone – alleviates loneliness. Symptoms of depression stemming from loneliness include:

• Staying inside and not leaving the home
• Withdrawing
• Not changing clothes or keeping up with hygiene
• Being aloof

Some might even turn to substance use. If you see warning signs, seek help or offer to help a loved one seek help from a mental health professional. 

“Do anything that will change your loneliness and do it with people you trust and enjoy their company,” Shah said.